Undergoing investigations, receiving test results, living in limbo, watching everyone else have children with seemingly relative ease and juggling work and cycles of fertility treatment understandably begin to take their toll on individuals and couples.
Whatever type of treatment you’re having, it’s a big deal. Whether you’re on your very first attempt or have been preparing for parenthood for far longer than you’d ever imagined, it’s OK for you to put yourself first so you can get through what can be an extremely turbulent time. You’ll find some suggestions below based on real-life experiences as to how you can go about doing this.
1. Put yourself first
This time in your life is all about you. It might feel strange but it’s OK to put yourself and your needs first. And, if you’re having treatment with a partner then it’s likely that your physical and emotional experiences of treatment will be different from each other. It’s OK for you and your partner to be in different places and still love one another.
2. Build a team
Fertility treatment can be an emotionally and physically gruelling time. Start building a support team of ‘go-to’ people who you can trust and rely on. It’s important that you don’t feel like you’re on your own—feel able to go to your friends and family for comfort and advice.
3. Trust your gut
Gut instinct. We all have one and it often gets ignored. Trust it and follow it. If something doesn’t ‘feel’ right then don’t do it. You might not be able to explain why, but that doesn’t matter.
4. Delegate
You can’t do it all and you don’t have to. Don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders—ask others for help, whether that means driving you to your doctors’ appointments or cooking dinner for you.
5. Find time to do things you love
Make a list of things you enjoy doing either independently or with others. Put it somewhere you can see and make time to do those things as often as possible. Preparing for pregnancy through fertility treatment can be an all-consuming task so joy-filled activities are likely to be a welcome distraction (even when you’re not in the mood). Not everything has to be about the fertility treatment process. Go see a movie, have dinner with your partner or organise other fun activities where you can put it out of your mind for a while.
6. Surround yourself with love
This one speaks for itself. If there are people in your life who cause you stress and upset, try and distance yourself from them—even if they are family members.
7. It really doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing
The world looks perfect on social media but it really isn’t a reflection of real life. Keep what’s going on for you in focus and ditch the comparisons.
8. Ask questions
Ask lots of questions to ensure you have the full picture of all the treatment options available to you—not just those in your clinic. Additionally it’s important to have a picture of what the next few weeks, months and years of your life will look like as you go through this process, so asking questions will make sure that you and those around you are all on the same page.
9. Remember: you’re the expert
You’re the expert of your own body—after all, you’ve lived in it for your entire life. If there’s something that doesn’t feel right, alert your doctor who will be able to advise you on what to do.
Iris Fertility provides practical and emotional support and companionship before, during and after fertility treatment—whatever its outcome. To find out more about Iris Fertility, visit: http://www.irisfertility.co.uk
